Well here's the deal.... I LOVE to cook.  Here's the thing, I HATE cooking for just myself.  So with Taylor home for an entire week, I decided it was time to pull out my chef hat again, and try my hand at some dishes.  Earlier this week was alfredo, tonight is fajitas, tomorrow is my french toast (recipe via years and years of watching Sula Bearden flip an entire loaf of bread to feed my hungry siblings and myself- mostly on fast Sunday- my favorite!!) but last night- last night I tried something different.  Red coconut Thai curry, the name alone seems intimidating.  But let me tell you, this recipe was easy, quick, and had a fantastic result.  Inasmuch, I feel I should share this with everyone because it's a meal I would do again in a heart beat (and I'm sure my fella would be just as happy to eat again).  So here's the jist (from my memory of what I did last night):

Ingredients:
1 Tablespoon red curry paste (found at speciality Asian market--- don't skimp out on a grocery store version, you want the real deal)
1 can coconut milk (again, real deal this stuff, if you want to save calories, go with a lite version)
1/3 cup chicken stock
2-3 Tablespoon brown sugar
3 Tablespoon fish sauce (found at specialty Asian market-- stinky stinky stuff, however this is found in MOST Thai recipes and it is needed to add that Thai taste and depth)
1/4 cup FRESH basil (that being said, i couldn't find fresh basil, so I just used a couple teaspoons of dried basil- it sufficed however I'm positive the fresh basil would have kicked this to the next level)
1/4 cup mushroom (your favorite kind, I love me some shitake, however normal mushrooms work too)
1/2 green pepper
1/2 yellow pepper
1/2 red pepper
1/2 onion (yellow or white)
2 chicken breasts (optional, or can substitute your meat of choice)

Directions:
1. In a medium sauce pan, simmer 1 can coconut milk and 1/2-1 tablespoon red curry paste (if you like it spicy, do a full tablespoon, more mild do 1/2 etc).  Simmer for 5 minutes
2.  Add 1/4 cup basil, 1/3 chicken stock, 3 tablespoons fish sauce, 2-3 tablespoons brown sugar, 1/4 cup mushroom and let simmer for 10-15 minutes for the flavors to develop
3.  While curry is simmering, chop peppers, 1 inch to 2 inch squares or strips however you prefer, saute peppers and onions with a little olive oil in a wok or non-stick pan until done (onions see-through).
4.  Add the peppers and onions into the curry mixture.
5.  In wok or non-stick then add chicken/meat of choice and cook until done (I add a few more spices, garlic salt, chicken stock)
6.  Throw everything together, and dish over rice, potatoes, or just eat as a curry :) 

You can keep everything separate so if serving multiple guests, they can add the amount of veggies, meat, curry, etc etc.  We put this over brown rice, and went with a whole tablespoon of curry paste (Taylor likes it spicy) and spicy it was, but oh so delicious

This meal takes as long as it takes to cook a pot of rice and is so delicious!  I hope you enjoy as much as I have!

Well, I've just been doing the same thing.... squeezing every drop out of summer!  I hate to say but summer is already on the downward spiral into fall.  Oh well, I like fall too.  Plus, then the snow comes and soon I'm snowboarding!  (I've already got my pass for next year).  I've had something very exciting happen to me so far this month as well.... let's go ahead and see the pictures to prove it....

Mountain biking with Jackie

I put just barely under 100K miles on the corolla in the 6 years I've had her

We got to spend a weekend in Bear Lake

Andy loves her backpack

The view after a hike on Indian Trail

Bear Lake, so stunning

Oh..... I sold the corolla and got an outback!  Absolutely in love with my NEW CAR!!!!! :)

Celebrating Gabby's birthday!  Jeremy and I took her out to dinner :)

Tee time with the Lund men, out at South Mountain, I had time to catch up on my reading

July has been a month of searching, discovering, learning, and progressing.  I think July may just be my favorite month of the year.  I've been riding my bike, getting more into mountain biking, making new friends, doing yoga, hiking, getting in touch with myself truly, enjoying family time, experiencing music, and no longer putting up with complacency.  Here are some of the adventures I've been on:

Squatters.... Yum!  Right before another ghost tour with Gabby, Nicole, and Jeremy

It was super hot outside, and we had been hiking

Roommate trip to the drive-in movie!

Dinosaur Park adventure

Making new friends at slackwater... oh beer

My battle wound from mountain biking

She wanted attention, she has the best puppy eyes ever

Deer Valley Music Festival, Broadway Rocks with Gabby, Jeremy, and Nicole... we may or may not have finished 3 bottles of wine and a bottle of champagne between us

Sunset at Deer Valley Music Festival

Surprised Taylor with tickets to "the French Connection" at Deer Valley music festival.... we looked damn hot

Family Pool party.... yup, that's a lotta kids!!



The top of the ride on Mueller's with Jackie and Robert

Rawr!!!!

I am a powerful, intelligent, and strong individual.  However I have one common occurrence when I date someone.  I lose myself.  I've done it every time.  This is not healthy.  It's healthy to want to spend time with someone, however it is not healthy the amount of time I want to spend with my special someone.  I know this is probably a big reason why I can't ever seem to make a relationship last.  I'm the same common denominator in failed relationships. I want to start fixing this.  I know it's a long process.  However if I could lose 60 lbs, I'm pretty sure I can do anything.  I found this article today with a lot of insight.  I'm the type of person that likes to analyze why I'm doing things, because if I can figure out the root, I can figure out how to change it.  Here's the article.  I'll also be buying the book. 

Where Did You Go? How Not to Lose Yourself When You Finally Meet Him

By Marlene Kelly
Oprah.com | August 13, 2009

After a fight with her authoritative father, an 18-year-old freckle-faced, redheaded girl is kicked out of her parents' Southern California home. While crying on Venice Beach, she meets a man who asks, "What's the problem?" She hesitates. She knows not to talk to strangers, but she's also intrigued. After just one small conversation, she feels like he knows her thoughts. That he understands what she's going through. That he's on her side. He tells her he's on his way up north to the woods and that she could go with him. She decides to go and live with him; she doesn't know why and doesn't really care.

A 30-something single, successful woman—passionate about her career and active social life—meets the man of her dreams. He loves spending every minute he can with her. At least that's what she told her friend at the lunch before she dropped off the face of the earth six months ago. Now, all her time is spent making dinners for her boyfriend, watching his stepdaughter on the weekend while he's playing football with his friends, and not replying to any of her mom's phone calls, her friends' e-mails or her colleagues' Facebook status updates.

Do these women sound like anyone you know? Or perhaps, you are the repeat love offender—falling hard and fast for a man—instead of gradually allowing a relationship into your life. If you feel like you've lost touch with the woman-you-once-were in your relationship-that-now-is, then you may be familiar with Disappearing Woman Syndrome. Beverly Engel, psychoanalyst and author of Loving Him Without Losing Yourself, describes it as "losing track of what you believe in, what you stand for, what's important to you and what makes you happy."

Hook, Line and Sinker

Neuropsychiatrist and author of The Female Brain, Dr. Louann Brizendine gets to the root of the problem: "The anterior cingulate cortex is a whole system in the brain that allows for critical thinking—it's the reason why you'll buy one brand over another or shop at one store over another—that part of the brain is turned off when you're falling in love with somebody." So part of the reason it's so easy for a woman to lose herself is because part of the process is to lose yourself?

"When it comes to falling in love," Dr. Brizendine says, "part of the wiring in the female brain is that she will start to see the world through his eyes, and she'll buy it hook, line and sinker."

To uncover why a woman loses herself, we need to take a step back and look at her environment. "Culturally, it's still true that women are trained to be dependent; boys are given more freedom," Engel says. "We don't worry about boys getting hurt as much as we worry about girls getting hurt." A parent's protection can delay the development of a young girl's pride and self-confidence if she isn't given the freedom to accomplish something. While a young boy is learning to act out his aggression by tackling an opponent on the football field, his sister may be encouraged to apologize for not being nice to the babysitter who ate all the ice cream. "Boys are taught to fight back, and girls are discouraged from doing that. Instead, they learn helplessness," Engel says. Repeat this pattern long enough, and she'll learn to simply to go along with whatever situation she's in. You may think you have a perfectly well-behaved daughter now, but you may be setting her up to fail as an adult.

For parents in unhealthy relationships, things get even worse. "Girls learn how to be in loving relationships by watching their mothers," Engel says. "And, unfortunately, there are still far too many girls who have role models that are allowing themselves to be abused."

Women, as it turns out, are also biologically hardwired to value connection over confrontation in relationships. This means that rather than standing up for herself, a woman will try to smooth things over or bite her tongue to keep the peace. Engel elaborates: "She'll pretend to agree when she doesn't really agree, she'll go along with things she doesn't really believe in, and if she does that long enough, she'll no longer know what she feels."

Enter Squeaky Fromme: A Woman Who Has Disappeared

Remember the young, freckled redhead from the beginning of the story? Her name is Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, and that man was Charles Manson. In an excerpt from her memoirs published by Time magazine, she writes of their first meeting as if it were the beginning of a fairy tale. On August 14, 2009, Fromme, the first woman to attempt to assassinate a president—Gerald Ford—was paroled after serving a life sentence. A member of Manson's notorious "family," she earned the nickname from Manson for her high-pitched voice.

During Manson's trial for the Tate/La Bianca murders in 1969, Fromme—brandishing an X on her forehead—protested the proceedings against her lover. The world learned her name in 1975, when she put a red cloth over her head and pointed a .45 Colt pistol at President Ford. Her reason? Fromme wrote in a a 2005 letter to The Fort Worth Star-Telegram: "I came to get life. Not just my life but clean air, healthy water and respect for creatures and creation."

But could she really be blinded by love for a psychopath almost 40 years later? She wrote recently: "Manson told me he could give me a natural world. ... He told me that money should work as hard for people as people work for money. He was talking about air and water, land and life."

Dr. Brizendine explains: "When you fall in love with someone, you are hyperempathic with that person. All of your circuits are firing at full speed. It's like a mother with an infant. The same brain circuitry that's wired for mothers to have empathy for nonverbal infants is part of the same circuits linked to the process of falling in love. So, basically, feeling the feelings of another person is part of the mirror neuron system. Every little thing that happens, every sound or light or change in temperature, the mother is almost feeling it for the child so that she can predict and protect that child. So then there's Squeaky, who has probably been in that mode of protection—channeling blind love and empathy for this man—for almost 40 years. But nobody else in society can understand because we're not blinded by the love she's blinded by. Her identity became one with him, and she's seeing the world through Manson-colored glasses."

What to Do If You Think You Might Be Losing Yourself

• If the people you love and trust are telling you they think you're a disappearing woman, then it may be time to take the blindfold off and listen to what they have say. If you know you're the kind of woman who has fallen for the wrong kind of man every time, and you are ready to stop the pattern, find a trusted friend or family member to help you out. A therapist can help you identify your patterns of behavior, but it's really more important to have the support of family and friends, because they're the ones who are going to be with you.
  
  
• Give yourself some space away from your partner. Most women who've lost themselves have disconnected from their friends and family. Isolation can be an enemy because it makes you more dependent on your partner. And if there's any abuse, that will make it easier for your partner to manipulate and control you. Stop the behavior of dependence. Reconnect with your family and friends—be with people who will help empower you.
  
  
• Take some time to be alone. Some women get so focused on their partner in their minds—what he's doing and what he's feeling—that even when they're by themselves they cannot find solitude. Disconnect your phone. Turn off the television. Find a quiet activity like journaling or meditation—whatever will give you time to connect with how you're feeling and what's important to you right now. This is the way to rediscover what you really want out of life.
  
  
• Don't be afraid to get angry. Most women who've lost themselves have lost the ability to connect with their feelings, especially anger. In order to find your voice again, you might need to work on overcoming your fear of expressing your emotions, even the ones that seem negative. Anger will empower and help you separate from your feelings of dependency.
  
  
• Look for healthy relationships that encourage you to have your own life. If you meet a new man and he wants to be with you every night and drops his friends in order to be with you—that's not a good sign. It may feel really good as your brain starts to put on the rose-colored glasses, but if he seems needy now, he may become controlling in the end. You don't want needy, even if you feel like you do!

While not a whole heck of a lot of "events" have happened in the month of June... however a lot has happened ;) I don't have a whole lot of pictures to update everyone just because I'm usually so caught up in the moment that I forget to take a picutre. I've been working on building a lot of relationships. A relationship with a "significant other" aka, "partner in crime" aka, "better half". Whatever you want to call him, he makes me very happy. Plus, I've convinced him that a half birthday is a real thing... we're celebrating this weekend (pretty sure that makes him a keeper). The other relationship has been with my friend Bonnie. We're "rekindling" a small flame of friendship from two years ago. I adore her, and I'm so glad to have an adventure buddy just 10 minutes down the road. So here are June's pictures **please note that I posted and then deleted because things got pretty sketchy with Tay for a minute.  He called me out on my flaws, and noted that I complacent.  All of which were correct.  I spent DAYS in self evaluation, and am still doing so.  We have since talked and decided to give "us" another chance.  I need someone who isn't okay with me being complacent, and someone who can be honest with me in absolutely every way**

Golfing on Father's Day

Drive-in movie in Taylor's Land Rover (god rest it's soul, he just traded it in for an FJ Cruiser)

Camping!  Legit style, until the cops made us put out our fire

My mountain man chopping wood.  You'll have to ask him about the mountain man contest he's participated in

Yeah, he spoils me

Picture at the drive-in (I adore him)

The valley from Fish rock, we watched fireworks from an amazing location, you could see MILES away

One of the fireworks

Awe, we're pretty cute together

Bella adores him.... he's TRYING to put up with her.

Monster Andy, she hates having her picture taken

Well hello there blog world!  I guess it's time for an update.  (because my pictures are getting backed up).  Can you believe that it's already June?  Not only is it June, it's 6 days in to June!  As is my usual format lately, I'll be updating my life with pictures.  Highlights include Moab, hiking, and Gay Pride Parade.

Did you guys get to see this?  I was lucky enough to be given eclipse glasses near the end and caught this picture through them.

Newest addition to the family, his name is Tyson, and belongs to my sister Cami

Miss Bonnie hiking up to Malans Peak

The amazing view from atop Malans in Ogden

On my way to Moab.... you can't see my other arm, but I assure you, I was steering ;)

Yummmmmmm Amber Ale at Moab brewery

The whole Moab clan, including Nicole's gramma.

View from Dead Horse Point in Moab

Wood.... hahahaha

Another view from Dead Horse

More Wood

He makes me spectacularly happy :)

What the what the?  This is sushi, called the green globe at Tona in Ogden

Last weeks hike w/Bonnie, that's Mount Ogden in the background, picture taken from Hidden Valley trail (yeah, I did that RIGHT after bikram, pretty sure I was on zombie speed the entire way up)

Sunset after Hidden Valley

Had front row seats at the Bees game!  (it was still boring)

Photo Bomb at the Pride Parade

See, told ya he makes me happy :) 

My outfit for Pride!  It was so hot outside ugh. 

The group we were with :)

Shake your TuTus!!  We're just so cute

Sorry it's sideways, don't wanna take the time to fix.... but to all of my loved ones at a distance, you should know..... That I have a new fella in my life ;)  It's new, exciting, and I'm hella nervous!  Let's cross our fingers I can make a relationship last longer than 2 months!!!