So as you all know I've had some serious relationship changes in the past three months. I ended things with my three year long boyfriend and within about a week had started things up with someone new. Yeah, I'd call that a big shift. My mom refers to it as a "rebound" and I do as well.... of sorts. But who's to say that a rebound can't be something more? So let me give you a quick recap of the past two months: Start dating James (cute, fun, smart, VERY positive guy), put him back in the position that Tim was in, because it just seemed natural and what I was used to. RUSHED things. Saw him almost every day. Met his family VERY quickly. Two weeks in, things still going fantastic while I'm healing over Tim. Three weeks in: his little quirks start to annoy me..... REALLY bad. Four weeks in: I put up with them to see where they might go. Five weeks in: starting to get REALLY annoyed with him and try breaking up but let him talk me into sticking it out and working out my own demons while being with him (I have weird control and communication issues that I'm working on). Six weeks in: Head over heels for him, he says he wants to marry me some day. Seven weeks in: Annoys the heck out of me, have another talk where I try to break things off but yet again end up trying to work through them. Eight weeks in: Stay with him because it's his birthday and who would dump a guy on their birthday?! Nine weeks in: I'm grumpy, mean, and just no fun to be around when I'm with him but when I get home I'm back to myself. Decide it really is time to end it after a particularly grumpy camping trip. Today: I've stuck with my decision to be single. He is very hurt that I felt now is the time for me to be single, not in a relationship. We tried doing the friends thing... it worked AWESOME for a week until he started getting jealous about me hanging out with other people. Now he's asked me to just not talk to him anymore while he can detach himself from me (which I completely understand).
So that's where I'm at. Which leaves me asking myself.... what's the point of a relationship anyways? This is not me being bitter, not by any means. I do want to get married and build a family one day. However for me right now in my life I think being single is a FANTASTIC decision. I'm enjoying the attention that I get from men around me. I think I must be putting out an "I'm single come talk to me" vibe because I've never been hit on this much! And again I just stinking love the attention. I've been on two other dates since ending things with James. Both of the guys are extremely cute, athletic, fun, and just fantastic people (and both are rich.... which let's face it... doesn't deter from me being attracted to them). LOL. However both have already asked me out again and seem to really enjoy me. This shouldn't be a bad thing right? I do fully explain before going out with someone that I'm not really looking for anything serious... not closing that door if I do find the right person... however I'm looking to just meet people and have fun. Funny thing is, is that's what I told James as well and he asked me the very first date if he could be more than just a distraction. LOL. So right now I'm just a little frustrated. I seem to connect with people VERY well. However I'm also getting VERY picky. I won't go out with someone who I really don't see things going anywhere. And with both of these recent dates I knew the exact moment when both of them had decided they really liked me. Though I just want to brag about the guy last night..... He didn't try to kiss me!!!!! Although I know for a fact that he wanted to. I dunno, but it impressed me.... I usually feel like the first kiss is pressured on me, but I didn't feel this way at all with Preston. That's why I'm going out with him again sometime this weekend :D Though he did just admit in a text message that he WANTED to kiss me. Man, I'm just LOVING being single right now. Anyways back to my frustration. How come now I'm getting all of this attention? How come I feel that I keep disappointing men because I'm not ready to be in a relationship. Grrrrrr.... How come I had to hurt James...... This is my frustration.... Sad life of a single, 23 year old blond.
PS, James just text me wanting to talk tonight... I wonder what he has decided as far as the staying friends thing goes....